Why make things personal?
I always find it interesting when entering into a discussion online on therapy, and in particular, what is being said/claimed by therapists, that it doesn’t take long for the ‘so what qualifications do you have?’ question to appear. Why does this happen?
Simply, the person asking is feeling threatened in some way.
Normally, they believe that what I am asking them to clarify is what they are doing, or have been doing, with their clients? What, in fact I’m actually asking, is what are you saying you’re doing?
I’m asking them to help those of us in the discussion to reason, based on the responses.
When I see a response which doesn’t stand up an evidence informed approach, I ask for clarification. And that’s when it can go wrong. And get personal.
People don’t read, they assume. They assume because I am asking a question of them, that I am somehow attacking them.
Here’s the thing though. If their response can stand up to scientific critique, which it must to have credibility, then they have nothing to fret over. If it doesn’t, which is the case in a lot of occasions, then THEY go on the attack, and the ‘so what qualifications do you have?’ question appears.
Many times, I’ve answered that they do not need to know about me, nor me about them, for the discussion to take place. It isn’t a case of ‘who can throw the farthest?’ that gets you a place at the head of the discussion. It’s what you say and how you evidence it.
Now you may wonder why I take the time to get involved in these discussions?
Well, I do it to educate myself, and in certain cases, to be fortunate to be able to educate others who may be thinking the same as me, but are afraid to ask.
It’s important for our industry that we are truthful about what claim we do when we interact with a client. Especially if we wish other areas of healthcare or professional bodies, to take us seriously.
What I will never do, is make it personal. That puts me in a bad light, doesn’t help the discussion, and is completely unnecessary.
Accept any questions with grace, be thankful for being asked, and be prepared to be less wrong than you were before. And don’t take it personally.
Have a great week.